A key piece to a strong financial foundation in a relationship is discovering and sharing your money mindset.
Your money mindset is influenced by things like your experiences, beliefs, and personality, and the way you think, feel, and speak about money.
You have your own unique views and relationship with money. And so does your partner.
By understanding each other’s money mindset, you can…
- Have more compassion and empathy with each other.
- Speak your truth and listen to each other without going on the offense or defense.
- Work together to find solutions and get on the same page.
- Support each other on the journey.
- Create a money plan and feel more peace.
You can work through roadblocks as a team and come out stronger on the other side.
Together, you can discover your money mindsets and build a strong financial foundation for your relationship.
Some examples of couples with different money mindsets…
You grew up with a frugal dad so you hoard cash while your partner believes in spending money in the moment, without care, so you fight with your partner about how money is being spent.
You believe debt is bad so you feel a lot of shame and embarrassment with your credit card debt and don’t tell your partner, meanwhile, they’re a planner whose paid off debt before and could help you get rid of it and move on.
You want to maintain independence and fear combining your finances, while your partner believes in laying it all out there and nags you to have a money conversation.
Discovering and sharing your money mindset starts with awareness – honest self-reflection about your money experiences and your thoughts and belief systems.
Here are some exercises to help you better understand your money mindset:
Your Money Past
- Your money story: what messages did you hear about money growing up? Think about the money messages you heard, saw, and experienced from your parents, family, communities, society, etc.
Your Current Relationship with Money
- Money visualization exercise: Imagine yourself sitting on the couch when you hear a knock on the door. You get up, go to the door, and when you open it, money is standing there. What do you see? What does money look like? How would you describe what you saw?
- Write a letter to money: Sit down and write a letter to money. Write anything you want to say to money.
Reflect and discuss
- How do your past money messages influence your finances and money mindset?
- What money messages are serving you and which ones hold you back?
- What’s a new money story you want to create for yourself?
As you go through these exercises, all you have to do is notice and become aware of the things you think about money, the things you say about money, and the things you believe about money.
From there, you can identify the beliefs and thoughts that are serving you and rewrite those old stories and limiting beliefs that are holding you back from your goals.